So you wanted some Conan?

Sorry, Anonymous poster--the passage below is from the last book of the Lord of Rings trilogy, but only the geekiest among us would take exception to such a minor error. However, not to disappoint, here's some mojo from Conan (a character invented by a Texan, no less):

Khitan General: [W]hat is best in life?
Khitan Warrior: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcon on your wrist, wind in your hair!
Khitan General: Wrong! Conan, what is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!
Khitan General: That is good.